WHY YOU SHOULD NOT COME ALONG TO MTCA
A Letter To All Our Parents
Dear parents,
I understand that many of you are disappointed that you were not selected to be a chaperone at MTCA. We had way more volunteers than spots available, and we are sorry that not everyone can come. I have had several parents approach me about the flight and hotel details so that they can come on their own. I hear you, I see your concern, and I respect your desire to be there for your kid but I am respectfully asking you, PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. While for you, you’re just one more person; for us, it is exponential.
ABOUT MTCA AND YOUR CHILD’S EXPERIENCE
MTCA is a national competition and there will be thousands of youth there with their own staff and chaperones. The kids have a pretty packed schedule going from events to performances to workshops to meals. Each youth, staff, and chaperone will have an event wristband issued by MTCA that allows entry into all of the MTCA events. Anyone without a wristband has no access and there is no way to acquire an extra one for you. Without the wristband you will not have access to your child throughout the day without a chaperone having to leave the kids they are with to bring your child to you.
We are taking 5 staff, 12 chaperones, and 27 Jr Comp kids plus our teens. Chaperones will be assigned a group of 3-4 JC youth. Each group of 3-4 youth will room together, and their chaperone will room right next door. The chaperone will be responsible for making sure that they are up in the morning, getting them to all of their events and activities, feeding and watering them, and providing emotional and other support. There are also a couple of chaperones that won't have a group and will be “runners,” basically helping out as things come up and others who are exclusively in charge of communicating with you, posting photos and videos and livestreams so you are connected to us at all times and you can feel like you are right there. If your child needs to talk to you their chaperone will call you.
WHY IT IS A GOOD IDEA TO STAY HOME:
YOU CAN TRUST US. This is my 23rd competition, and collectively my staff and I have almost a century of competition experience between us.
WE WILL CALL YOU IF WE NEED YOU. And we will encourage your kid to call or text you every night.
WE WILL KEEP YOU UP TO DATE WITH PICS AND LIVE VIDEOS. We will be live-streaming the performances and posting tons of moment by moment photo updates.
YOUR CHILD WILL GET A CHANCE TO STRETCH THEIR WINGS IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT. This is a great chance for your child to feel independent while still being carefully supervised by a team of adults that are looking out for them while they are surrounded by friends.
WHY IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO COME ALONG:
IF YOU DO IT, EVERYONE ELSE WILL. I have had several people say they want to just come and bring themselves along. As soon as it becomes ok for one person, a bunch of others have already said they want to, too.
THIS WILL DISTRACT US FROM ACTUALLY SUPPORTING YOUR KIDS AND MAKING THIS THE BEST EXPERIENCE FOR THEM. Please understand that we love you, but our focus needs to be on helping the kids prepare for, participate in, and come down from all of the wonderful moments that they’ll have.
THIS WILL DISTRACT YOUR KIDS AND THEIR FRIENDS FROM THE PURPOSE OF WHY THEY’RE THERE. We don’t want the kids to split their attention between you and them. We want them to focus on and participate in the MTCA activities. We don’t want them to feel pulled to be with you but rather embrace the experiences in front of them and grow as people and as performers.
IT IS SO MUCH HARDER ON THE STAFF. Please understand that we love you. But this isn’t about you as an individual. It is about a sheer number of human bodies making our crowd larger, dividing our attention, asking us questions, being one more voice we have to talk over or one more body our loud voices have to reach every single time we have to stop and give directions or explain what comes next (which is ALL THE TIME). Please understand that this weekend is great but it is also the most exhausting weekend of the year for the staff. We are stretched so thin and by the end of it we are so beat. You may not think that just one of you will make a difference. But one of you plus the other 5 that also feel entitled to come when they see that you are going really does add up. For the sake of my strained vocal chords, my health and emotional well being and that of my staff, please stay home.
There are a thousand scenarios that can get awkward or uncomfortable fast and further complicate our jobs when we should be focusing on the experience and safety of the group as a whole.
What about when we get down there and it’s time to get on the bus, and there’s one seat left and 4 parents that have come along? Do we tell you to go figure out your own ride? What if your kid wants to ride with you? Now multiply that by the 4 or 5 other parents that also come along.
What happens when we gather the kids around to talk to them and explain something? Are you joining the group discussion? What if we don’t have your child’s attention or they’re with you and we need them with us and paying attention?
What if you want to pop over and buy your kid Starbucks or a candy bar but the other kids don’t get that.
Or what happens if your child has been given an instruction from us but then you give them a different instruction or feel the need to discipline your child for some moment of them messing around or acting out? Now your kid does not know which authority to go to.
Or what if your child simply knows you are there and that makes them want to run and be with you instead of participating? The rest of us are heading into the competition and your kid wants to stay with you instead?
If your child wants to ride with you from the airport or hang out with you at the amusement park, is the chaperone supposed to keep track of which kids are peeling off with parents where they are and whether they are making it back to the bus on time? We will not have the bandwidth to track which kids are with us and which have gone with their parents, and we don’t want to ever have to tell a kid that they can’t go with their parents. Please don’t put us or your child in that position.
TRUST US to care for and support your child at this event. Think of it like sleepaway camp except instead of young college students your kids have never met, their adult supervisors are teachers they love and trust and parents we love and trust to take care of them. You wouldn’t bring yourself along to sleepaway camp. Even if you come separately, you won’t have access to any of the MTCA events. You will be bored, and your child will have to choose between the MTCA activities with their friends and teammates or being with you. You’ll also be taking away a room from other participants. The hotel will sell out, and we don’t want other performers and studios to have to stay elsewhere because we took up more than our fair share. We will call you if anything happens or if your child needs you. Please know that your child will be surrounded by loving staff and chaperones and friends, and that they will be safe and cared for. Let’s believe in them to do this!
So please, ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND, go wine tasting, take a spa day, have a date night. Do something for you! Trust that your child is as safe and well cared for as they possibly can be. Think of this as the world’s most expensive babysitter for the weekend and go enjoy the free time you just bought yourself!
If you have read all of this and you still insist on coming then please, do it secretly. Tell me you are there so the staff knows how to reach you in an emergency but I absolutely insist that you don’t tell your kid. Give them the freedom to stretch their wings a bit. I promise if a teary moment comes up and they need you, we will call you. But if you choose to come anyway, DO NOT book the same flight or hotel as us. Stay up the road, read a great book or go to Disneyland.
For any of you who still have questions, here are some things we’re happy to do to help you and your child have a wonderful experience:
Please let me know if you’d like to chat privately about this. I’m happy to listen to any information you’d like to share about how we can best support your child on this trip.
Please join me today at 4:00PM to hear about what a weekend at MTCA will feel like to your child and what they’ll be up to. I will be available to you to answer any question to have.
We will set up a date to “Meet the Chaperones.” They are mostly parents who are experienced with being backstage at competitions and who are committed to supporting all of the kids to have a safe and fun experience.
Thank you!
- Chelsea
